Bad Baby!!!

Carl keeps wondering if Miranda is quite advanced for her age. I don't really know, she is just Miranda. Very definitely Miranda. Inimitably Miranda. She was walking just before her first birthday, she has MASSIVE feet, 7 teeth and about 5 words. Is this normal for a 14 month old?
Not that it matters really, as long as she is healthy and happy. All babies grow at different rates I reckon!

One thing that has come early though seems to be the Getting Cross and Screaming about it phase. I thought this was supposed to be The Terrible Twos? She just has phases of being a Little Beast. At the moment, the favourite games are Flatly Refusing to Eat When In The Highchair. She'll eat anything as long as she's sitting on my knee or running around the house with both hands full, but not in the high chair because schmeeeling food is restricted and there is a handy wipe clean mat underneath her. This is not funny. Neither is her neat little trick of rescuing icky things from out of the bin, such as greasy not-quite-empty tubs of marg or egg shells. Or getting outside and playing with the chain on Daddy's bike. Or ripping the pages of her favourite book. Or emptying my wallet all over the floor and trying to rip up the £20 notes. She actually knows that we don't like what she's doing though. She looks at me and the lip wobbles even before I've told her off or taken away the offensively sticky item - and then when we do scold, we get the whole guilt trip: Real Tears! big lip! howling! Being told off for flinging her bowl full of dinner all over the floor is the worst thing ever and who knows how she will cope with the trauma?!

More seriously (and in hindsight I am including these tales entirely for amusement factor, dear reader) she stole my front door keys the other day, took them out of my bag in the cafe, and I didn't notice. I pedalled all the way home, and had to sit on the step with her in the rain for 25 mins until Carl got home to let me in. I got in a complete panic because I honestly thought I'd dropped the keys out of my trike or left them actually in the door or something and was expecting someone to have got into the house.... I found the keys though. They were in the bottom of Miri's toybox in the cafe.

Today, I got home after a seriously rubbish day in the cafe (during which she wailed all afternoon out of boredom, poor baby, tipped a full bowl of porridge on the floor (she refused to eat it because she was sitting in the high chair at the time), stole a teapot and tried to microwave it, stole half a dozen sticks of sugar and deposited them around the place, tried to suck on the air freshner, played bongo drums with the lid of the nappy bin, and rearranged the books - by moving them from the shelf to the floor. When I got home, I went outside to get the soaking wet washing in, and she slammed the door on me, locking me out!! I had to eventually climb over our neighbours' fence, and tap on their back window to get them to let me through their house so I could get in my front door - I was lucky they were in!! I know she is just being a playful, experimental toddler, but it is getting infuriating!!

In a way, I feel for her. She is getting bigger, and she is realising that the world we provide for her isn't as big as it once seemed. Really hope all our Canada plans come together soon, so she'll have a whole new environment to explore! At the moment, keeping up with her and stopping her destroying things is completely exhausting!!

Oh Canada...

I miss my baby!!!

She is the other side of the world without me!! 
Miranda is staying with her Granny and Grandad (and by now, her Daddy as well) whilst I am in the middle of Canada, on a fact-finding mission and pseudo-job interview. We have actually have the very real possibility of making a new life out here and my mind is all over the place trying to process it all!

I reallly do not want Miranda to grow up in Darlington. There is just nothing there for us as a family; sure, we have some amazing friends and they are the only thing that has kept me sane and relatively contented for the past seven years. But, Darlington is scruffy and run down, the local council seem hellbent on making it worse, there are precious few job opportunities, certainly no graduate jobs. Starting a business here has proved almost impossible due to the total lack of support from the local authorities, and because everyone is broke and the location is so bad, I have too few customers having finally got my business open. The worst thing though, is the people who live around us. Chavs, basically. It's not really dangerous, but we get a lot of hassle - just being yelled at in the street and spat at, just because we dress differently or use long words or have jobs or ride tricycles or whatever else it is that offends these people so much. We've suffered petty vandalism, theft and general intimidation at the cafe as well, so it's not just our street being horrible. I hate it, it depresses me, and I don't want Miranda growing up in that sort of environment - to be bullied, effectively. I want her to be able to be exactly who she wants to be, without having to conform for fear of harrassment.

Yes, we could just move somewhere in the UK, but there are chavs in every town, and given our budget, I doubt we could afford to go anywhere that is chav-free. Of course, it also depends on jobs and opportunities and the housing market and so on and so forth. Whatever we do it's going to be stressful and expensive, so we thought sod it, WHY NOT EMIGRATE!?

Carl and I have been on about going to Canada for years anyway. He fell in love with the place when he cycled all the way across it, years ago before I met him. We went out together to Vancouver and Calgary and I loved it too, but of course, I only saw the touristy bits. But, in a bizarre series of events that are better explained on my coffee blog, I have a whiff of a job offer in Regina, Saskatchewan. So that is where I am.

The job is managing a brand new 'European-style' coffee shop and the owner seems just as daft as I am, given that he wants to employ me just on the basis of my British accent!! The cafe is lovely, (and huge) and it seems a great set-up. I can see myself having a lot of fun working there, and it won't be nearly as stressful as running my own place. That part is a very easy decision.

I have set myself the mission of exploring the rest of Regina as well this week, to see if I could imagine myself living out here with Carl and Miranda. That decision is going to be far harder. Most people's reactions, when I've told them this plan and then usually explained where on earth Regina is, think I am bonkers. Even the locals can't understand why anyone would WANT to move here given the choice. It really is in the middle of nowhere, in the middle of the Prairies. I was trying desperately to see as much as I could out of the plane window when I flew in the other day, and just saw LOTS AND LOTS of wide open space, peculiarly regular square fields, tiny farm houses dotted about if I was lucky and the river snaking across the Nothingness. It was such as relief to finally see the city as we landed - you don't see it at all from the air until you are on top of it. It is huge (to British eyes) but it is certainly not hugely populated. There are about twice as many people here as there are in Darlington, but in what must be six times the space! Annoyingly, from my perspective, the spaces between places of interest are so vast, you have to drive, no one walks. I don't want to drive, especially since the trucks are all massive, everyone is on the wrong side of the road, and there are no roundabouts. I will bring my trike, that will freak people!! I ventured 'downtown' yesterday too, went to the only pedestrianized bit with a large shopping 'mall' in it. It was pleasant enough, but it was pretty quiet for a Saturday afternoon in mid-summer. Everyone warns me about the freezing winters here too: -40c have been known, and the snow stays for months...

On the upside though, it is very pretty, very green and very spacious. The houses are lovely: all wooden bungalows on tree-lined streets. I did wonder why so many are single-storey, but as Carl pointed out, why build up, when you can build out? We found a 6 bed house with a garden and basement for not much more than we paid for our 2 bed semi in Darlington. Even in winter, I can imagine these streets still look nice covered in snow too. And the sky is clear, open and enormous - plenty of scope (geddit??) for Carl's astronomy. There are lots of parks throughout the town, and then the biggest area of parkland in the country, the Wascana park, with a massive lake and canoeing and the heritage centre and so on... Miranda will have lots of fun. The whole place does seem more geared towards children too. All the parks have kids' play areas, and even in the mall, there were shopping trollies in the shape of cars and trucks for children to ride around in. There's even a lakeside beach!

And no Chavs to be seen. I even found a Goth shop. YAY!!

After three days, I am very nearly sold on this idea. It is going to be a huge, huge upheaval I know. but I do believe it is the right thing to do. I just wish I could've brought my beautiful baby out here too, and Carl - he has to help in making this decision as well and I would feel far more confident about it all if he could see what I am seeing at the moment.

The other major factor to consider is how far away we will be from friends and family. I do trust my friends to stay in touch - I have friends all over the world and  this is hardly the first time I've done one of these insane trips anyway, and some friends are just as prone to disappearing as I am. It is my parents that I worry about. It is a very long flight which they hate anyway, (although they'd probably love the winter!!). They are already moaning about us taking Miranda away. They don't like her being four hours away in Darlington, let alone 15 hours away in Saskatchewan! I hope they understand why we want to do this though - I get the impression they do, underneath, but it will definitely be a huge wrench.

They have finally learnt to use Skype, so I have been trying to wave at the screen and see Miri on their webcam. She is getting doted on and spoilt rotten I think. Mum also reports that tooth #7 is on its way, so she's been a bit grumpy. Otherwise, she is coping very well not only without her Mummy, but also without Boob. Obviously I've had to stop breastfeeding this week but after 13 months, I think I did damn well with it, and she will be absolutely fine without it now. My boobs have gone huge and tender and rock hard though!! NOT NICE. I look like I've had really bad implants put it and they got so painfully full that I had to go express some milk in the toilet on the plane! Seems to be settling a bit today finally, but definitely NOT a pleasant experience. I made a point of locating a Big Bra shop in Regina yesterday, just in case they never go back to their original size....

So, I have a few more days of exploring, then I'll be reunited with my little family. And unless something goes wrong - I find Canadian chavs, or my visa gets refused or something, Miranda may well grow up Canadian, eh:?Technorati Tags: Canada, travel, chavs, emigration, goth, teeth, breastfeeding,

One Orbit of the Sun Completed!

MIRANDA IS ONE YEAR OLD!!!

Really find that hard to believe! This time last year, I was just allowed out of hospital, and we wrapped her up in her minute car seat for the first ever trip home. She was very slightly orange (jaundiced) and had loads of spikey dark hair.
One year on, and she is currently rocking about on a large wooden snail, (thanks to Aunty Tattoo-Jo), swigging orange juice from her bottle, and singing "doobu-doobu-doobu ayaayuu" to herself in the play corner in my cafe (which also didn't exist a year ago!). She is very much a little person now, but even so, this year has just flown by.

Miri is more or less blond now, her hair seems to lighten in the sun just like her Dad's does. She is 74cm tall (at least, she was last time she kept still long enough to measure!), weighs just under 12kg, has size 5 feet (!!!) and four teeth.

Development-wise, she is walking!!!!! Well almost. We know she can do it, and we even have video evidence of this, but she still prefers not to because she is still quite wobbly, and crawling is still the faster, most efficient option. Nevertheless, the cafe is no longer my own and we have had to construct the Miranda Containment Facility to stop her getting in the kitchen in there! She is also saying "Mum" "Dada" and named her new doll "Diedre" (by holding it going "Deedree!). Unfortunately these words are applied indescriminately, so anyone she wants something from becomes "Mum" and anyone who picks her up for any reason other than food, becomes Dada. Otherwise, she is very chatty, and sings or talks to her toys quite happily in Miriese.

She's still having the occasional boob feed too. I am trying to stop this just because she has been known to BITE with her sharp new teeth, which is excrutiating. We have yet to find any sort of food that she won't eat too, so she doesn't really need breatmilk any more anyway. She regularly has a bottle of milky tea in the cafe with me. However, the other week I had a run in with an idiot doctor. I went to the doctors because I've been having migraines, he prescribed me something, but I asked if I could take it and still breastfeed. He was genuinely incredulous that I was "still" breastfeeding!! He already knew exactly how old Miranda was, but I was quite offended by his reaction. It may not be that common to be breastfeeding at a year old, but it is not unheard of, not abnormal or freakish and certainly not doing her any harm! Surely doctors should be encouraging me and supporting me, not practically ridiculing it? NOT IMPRESSED.

AAaaaaaaaaaaaaaanyway, on her actual birthday yesterday, we had a party in the cafe, and I invited all my friends with children, and also some of the customers that come in with kids. We had SO MANY show up!! Miri was spoilt rotten, as even people I didn't know very well brought presents for her. At one point we had 10 kids in the cafe, all under 6. I fed them all jelly and icecream and they raced around and played with all the toys in the cafe and blew party poppers at each other and made a glorious mess. Needless to say I am completely shattered today!!! Miranda managed a 20 minute sleep all day, the rest of the time she was too excited to even contemplate the idea of a nap. I don't get why she is so awake and boisterous today now! Granny and Grandad came up over the weekend too, and we went to a big play park which she loved, and they took her out while I was working in the cafe on Saturday, and I pedalled her about in the new seat (from the grandparents) on my new trike... all in all, a very exciting few days for a small girl!

Now, she has a rocking snail, a 'scramble bug' (ride on cute thing), lots of new clothes and books, a cuddly springbok from Auntie Karen in South Africa, various plastic noisy things, and Auntie Jopo had the sense to buy her two large toy boxes to put it all in! Carl decided she needed something Big to play in outside, so we got her a swing and slide set for the garden - she loves it!

The party was brilliant, and it was lovely that so many of our friends showed up to celebrate with Miranda. I don't think she actually understands the concept of "birthday" yet but she really enjoyed herself!! I am so proud of my "toddler"!! 

Long time no blog, and many changes!

Miranda is now ten months old...!
I have been rushed off my feet with the cafe and the Phd and every other mad scheme, and despite the exhaustion, I feel so lucky that Miri takes it all in her minute stride. She is very, very social, and really does appear to love the cafe. Most of my customers think she's wonderful, with total strangers commenting on how bright, alert and CUTE she is! Of course, she laps up the attention.

The third tooth is just about visible now, top right we think - it looks as though it will break through any day now.

Miranda is also talking - she babbles away happily to Carl and I, shrieking at things that annoy her or amuse her, gurbles intently at her toys, and makes emotive political speeches, accompanied by wild gestures and appropriately forceful table banging, from her high chair in the cafe. All of this is in Mirandese. She has got the hang of Ds and Bs and Gs - dadababagaga and her favourite: BooGURgoo. Annoyingly, she says Dada all the time but hasn't managed Mama yet. I changed her nappy the other day and I could swear she suddenly yelled "CABBAGES"! More worringly though, she came at me far too close the other morning, grabbed my hair with both hands and said "Braaaaains". Baby Zombie!! Aaaargh!!

At the end of February, we went to stay with Granny and Grandad for a week (leaving poor Carl behind.) They fussed over her no end, insisted on giving her a bath pretty much every night, and we got a Titch-hiker thing that lets her ride around on my shoulders which she adores! Meanwhile, I managed to finish the last chapter of my thesis. I love Miranda with all my heart, but sometimes she doesn't exactly help...:

We went to Miri's second Whitby Goth Weekend too, just for a day trip. Miranda wore a fabulous little Spider suit given to her by Ione Chapman complete with Velcro'd on extra legs. Whitby was a bit quieter than usual, but she had great fun meeting up with our extended goth family - and of course had her photograph taken ALL DAY. I bought her her first doll, a little 'Batling' like a Cabbage Patch kid but wearing black and with bat wings!

A few weeks ago, I also experienced my first Mothers' Day! Bizarre feeling really, I almost forgot it now applies to me. I send off a card to Granny, but then Carl  - I mean, Miri - bought me a Book of Cakes and a bib for Miri saying "Don't Laugh, She's My Mum".

The biggest news though is that MIRANDA IS MOBILE! She has been veryvery close to crawling for so long, but she hated doing it, much preferring me to bend double and walk her around holding on to my fingers. When I didn't want to give myself a bad back any more, she used to wail at me and complain instead of actually crawling. That was until four days ago. Suddenly she twigged and worked out what her knees can do. It really was a case of overnight mobility, on Thursday she was still getting cross when I didn't walk with her, then on Friday she was scooting about on all fours, making bids for freedom out of the front door, getting into the cupboards at work and cruising round the edge of the furniture. She can pull herself up on most things now and there has been plenty of bumped hea-ds and wailing - usually more out of surprise than pain. The floor comes up and bites her when she isn't looking! So Unfair!!

So, the cafe is no longer my own. Jo and I are constantly dreaming up Miri Containment Schemes (possibly involving picket fences - "it's ok as long as you call it a playpen and not a cage!"), and I am hunting for socket covers and feel as though I am constantly vacuuming after she distributes raisins and crumbs and bricks and various detritus around the place. 

 

My little Moomin Cheese is growing up!!